Burnout Isn't Just "Being Tired" — It's a Full-Blown Life Hijack (Here's How to Catch It Early)
Ever felt like you're running a marathon...on a treadmill...that's on fire...while carrying your email inbox on your back?
Welcome to burnout.
Burnout isn't just being "a little stressed" or "ready for a vacation." It's what happens when stress doesn't get processed — when we stay stuck in the "go, go, go" mode without ever completing the stress cycle.
Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, authors of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, lay it out clearly: the external pressures (hello, work deadlines, social media comparison traps, family obligations) aren't disappearing anytime soon. But how we handle that stress? That's where the magic happens.
Let's break this down with a story we all know:
Meet Alex. Alex feels they have something to prove at work (Stage 1: Compulsion to prove oneself). So they start staying late (Stage 2: Working harder). Dinner becomes "whatever's in the fridge" and sleep shrinks to 4 hours (Stage 3: Neglecting needs).
When friends ask "Are you okay?" Alex shrugs it off (Stage 4: Displacement of conflicts). Work becomes everything — family group chats go unread (Stage 5: Revision of values).
Colleagues who leave at 5 PM seem lazy (Stage 6: Denial of problems). Weekends? Alex cancels plans "to rest" — but actually just doomscrolls in bed (Stage 7: Withdrawal).
Mood swings, snappiness at the coffee shop — even Alex notices (Stage 8: Behavioral changes). Relationships feel...fake (Stage 9: Depersonalization).
A sense of emptiness creeps in (Stage 10: Inner emptiness), spiraling into deep sadness (Stage 11: Depression). Finally, Alex hits a wall — physically and emotionally (Stage 12: Full burnout).
Sound familiar? Maybe not the whole journey — but parts of it?
Here's the good news: burnout is preventable — and manageable — if we spot the signs early.
The Nagoskis suggest a few game-changers:
Complete the stress cycle: Physical activity, creative expression, positive social interactions, even a good cry — these physically complete the stress your body holds.
Rest isn't optional: It's essential. True rest — not just "crashing on the couch" — but deliberate recovery.
Self-compassion over self-criticism: You can't "hustle" your way out of burnout. (If you could, you'd already have done it, right?)
Connection is medicine: Having at least one "no judgment" friend can literally be life-saving.
Pro-tip: If "taking a break" feels guilty or lazy, that's a huge red flag. Rest is not a reward for work. It's the foundation of sustainable work.
A reminder for today:
You are not a machine. You are not "falling behind" because you need rest. You are a human being — beautifully, necessarily, gloriously so.
Let's stop treating burnout like a badge of honor.
Let's start treating wellbeing like the real flex.
